Saturday 16 August 2008

Always in my heart.


I am not quite sure how this section is going to turn out, but here goes....
If you have ever lost someone close to you, then you will understand where I am coming from.

Well I hope you will...

Firstly I would like to say that you never get over the death of a loved one, you just learn to live with it. Even tho it has been a few years since I last lost a family member, I still have those days where I really do miss them and just want to cry. But I am not the kind of person that will tell anyone how I am really feeling. Hence why I am writing this. I can sit here and recall the times we laughed and the times we cried together. But can say that most of the time we were laughing... Even more so with my Uncle Pete. He was a comedian in his own right. I remember when I was only about 7 years old maybe younger, he worked for the council and we always knew when he was coming to visit. Not by a telephone call, but by his voice. He would sing where ever he was and you are not talking about a quiet voice either. He could be a couple of streets away and you would still hear him. Well when he would get to the house, omg..... it was the brain working over time of where to hide.... lol As he would come and have everyone in fits of laughter. I know I have a wonderful family, but I really do miss him. Now this is getting hard to write...
Just a little over a year after my Uncle Pete passed away, I then lost his wife my Auntie Pat. What a shock that was. I was still trying to cope with the fact of not having Pete in person, then to deal with loosing Pat too... I did think to myself at times and still do... WHY.
I have in total lost 4 very close members of my family.
But I am finding it extremely hard to deal with the fact that I said something to my Step Dad (Ray) before he passed away and that I know I hurt his feelings. And now I don't have the chance to say why I said what I did. I know everyone has their own option on life and death, but Ray if you can feel my feelings or sense them I am sorry.
Ray, Uncle Pete, Auntie Pat and Gary......
LOVE YOU ALL...
ALWAYS IN MY HEART.
X X X

3 comments:

Sindi said...

This was so touching to read. I know how you feeling when it comes to losing a loved one. I have lost several, but in my family we dont mourn like most. We have a huge get together after the funeral to talk of all the happy things about that person. We come together so we don't mourn alone.
I always keep just a small bit of the sads.It not easy to talk about things that bring you pain. I know I have a hard time with it.I have learned that it is easier to talk then keep it inside.

As for what you said to your loved one. He knows. He sees you and feels what you were trying to say. I know he is looking down and smiling upon you and proud.

I don't know how other feel about the after life but this is how I feel. He is waitng for the day that you will come together again. I know he will be the first one to take your hand and walk with you through the gates to glory.

I hope i wasn't to soppy with that, but you should not worry over what was said.

Liquid said...

That was a very special post. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Welcome to Bloggerita-ville!

Have a super day!

Sindi said...

I wanted to stop in and say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICKY !!!!!